The Startling Truth
February 24, 2009

According to Baxter family tradition it was customary for newlyweds to buy a new house together, and John Baxter and Mary Adler recently wed, so it is their turn to uphold tradition. Their budget was tight, but luckily for them and old Victorian house within their budget just went on the market as ‘For Sale By Owner’. John and Mary toured the house by themselves, with their parents, and finally with their friends; each group loved the three-story house very much, and urged John and Mary to buy it. With their encouragement, the newly weds signed the necessary papers and purchased their new home. 

Before moving in, John and Mary decided it would be prudent to paint the entire house, inside and out. They selected their colors, bought their supplies, and set to work. While they were painting the dining room John leaned the ladder against the wall and climbed up to paint the crown molding. Before he could start, they both heard a creaking and groaning sound coming from the wall. In a few short breaths, the wall John was leaning on crumbled to pieces, exposing the pipes and wires behind it. 

Mary was shocked, and John was furious. He stalked over to the phone, picked it up, and dialed the previous owner’s number; it rang once, then a robotic voice came on the line to say that the number was no longer in service. His anger grew and he slammed the phone back onto the wall-mounted jack; this wall also crumbled, dropping the phone to the floor. To their horror, a horde of black rats swarmed from the now open wall. Mary shrieked and jumped onto a paint bucket, and John swiped at them with his roller brush. 

Once the rats vacated the dining room the couple went into the kitchen to get a drink of water and calm down. While the faucet was running, they heard a high-pitched squeal that was followed by the cupboard doors opening and a rush of water coming from a burst pipe underneath. Mary shrieked again and John dove into the jet of water, reaching for the shut off valve. After a few tense moments, the flood ceased, and John emerged from the cupboard soaked to the bone. 

Mary was crying and despite John’s wet clothes she rushed into his arms; he held her tightly until her tears, and his clothes, dried. They had no idea how these things happened when the house seemed so perfect. They were under the impression that their dream home was perfect, but they had no idea what a massive fixer-upper project it would be. The newly weds had discovered the startling truth about owning a home.